Challenge: Dorsimbra (these are getting scary) Please let me no what you think?

It makes my throat ache with a sob. Comma after "thoughts hazy"? and why "numbed and cold at the bottom of a well"? I think it might be a bit more powerful if you stayed with Shakespeare's beach imagery. But then, maybe that would be too melodramatic, I tend toward that, so disregard this if you want.